need another drink. this is the easiest way
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
