You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
