Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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