I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
