I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Be still, my beating vagina.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
