I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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