Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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