lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
