I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
