My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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