sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
