Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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