Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
