i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
