Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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