I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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