here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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