this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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