Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
