I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
