We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
