this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
