these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
