Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
