We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
