This girl is more easily done than said...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
