Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
