and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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