we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
