are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
