its not stalking. its research.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
