Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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