I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
