Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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