why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
