Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
