Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
