Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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