I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
