Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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