thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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