Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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