I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
