we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
