Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
