we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
