I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
