Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
