ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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