Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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