You really coming over, don't trick.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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